A Normal Day in Camelot
by Kitty O
Summary: Oneshot. Just a bit on the life of our favorite Arthurian characters when they are older and have kids. But they are still kids themselves on the inside. A little fluffy. K plus for a mention of that Gwen scandal. AU after s3. Future!Fic oneshot series. Order of series: A Normal Day in Camelot, Twins are Twice as Nice, A Mother's Tears, Warlock Takes a Wife, A Royal Favor.


The Queen of Camelot glared at the two wrongdoers balefully.

"I think I have warned you enough," she said in her most impressive voice. "This is the fifth time this month this same event has occurred, and I think it may be time for me punish you accordingly."

The wrongdoers looked leery. They weren't sure just what this punishment would entail… but already they were going over every way of escape possible from this room.

"Such as?" piped the first one, blue eyes wide.

"The dungeon for a day or two might be appropriate."

The second went rather pale for a coffee-skinned girl, as though the Queen had just suggested she be hung by her toes.

The first, who went by the name Alexandra, was unimpressed. Dungeons weren't so scary. Oh, occasionally they had rats, but a nice blast of magic was generally enough to fix that. She wondered if she and her fellow partner in crime would be put in the same room. Alexandra was positive she could protect Chloe. Chloe needed a lot of protection—but then, that was normal for someone of her social standing.

Chloe, the second girl, had begun to cry. "Oh, Mummy!" she sobbed. "You wouldn't really—would you?" She lurched forward and hung onto her mother's leg for dear life.

Queen Guinevere relented. "No, dear, I guess I won't. But you and Lexi are so trying sometimes that I wish I could!" Gwen would never put her child behind bars. Arthur informed her that such tactics very rarely killed the defiance in a child.

When Queen Guinevere asked him what could, he pointed out whose child it was. There was no saving them from a healthy dose of boldness.

Alexandra, meanwhile, rolled her eyes at Chloe's shameless display. _She_ would never sink to such a show of raw emotion. But Chloe was a princess. They did sickening things occasionally.

Chloe hid her face in her mother's skirt. "I'm sorry, Mummy!"

Gwen smiled. "You are not. If you were, you and Alexandra would stop fighting each other." She gave Lexi a meaningful look.

Lexi felt her heart sink in her chest shamefully, but she lifted her chin and replied, "We weren't fighting each other."

"Really?"

"I was attacking her."

Gwen moaned. "Why?"

"She… she made me mad," said Lexi, refusing to blush. She was a very hard-headed little sprite of a child, and never showed any remorse when she was being accused of doing something wrong. Her mother often despaired, crying that she was a hard-hearted little girl, without a speck of emotion in her. But Lexi's father, who held the key to her heart, always stood up for his youngest daughter.

"How did she make you mad?" asked Gwen.

Lexi shook her head. "I'm not a sneak, and I won't tell. Your Majesty."

Only the back of Chloe's head could be seen, but one could see that she was mortified. She was no longer crying; rather, she hid her face in an attempt to smother the flames eating away at her cheeks.

"Chloe, dear? What was the fight about?"

Chloe could never ignore her mother when she spoke that way, so she lifted her sad little head and cried, "Well, they did burn sorcerers way-back-when, when you were a girl!"

Alexandra could not quite contain her anger at that statement. "They did not! There is nothing wrong with having magic, and if you think otherwise, well then you are a snot-nosed, chicken livered, overbearing little snob!" Lexi was not quite sure what 'overbearing' meant – or 'chicken livered' for that matter – but they sounded good.

"Alexandra!" admonished the Queen. "Ladies do not call names!"

"I'm not a lady!"

"Yes, you are!"

"Well, I call names, so obviously they do."

Queen Gwen treated her to a very special Gwen-glare that left the little girl shaking in her shoes. Knowing she had crossed the line, Lexi lifted her head and said, "I apologize, Your Majesty."

Gwen sighed. Was it any wonder her hair was turning gray? Just then Chloe lifted her dark head and stuck her tongue out at Lexi, but before Gwen could correct her, Alexandra's eyes flashed a powerful gold.

Chloe's eyes grew panicked.

Gwen shouted, "Lexi! No! You are not to use magic like that, and you know it."

Lexi's eyes were suddenly blue again as she innocently stated, "I didn't use magic." _I just thought about it. _

"Honestly!" yelped the poor Queen. "I expect fights from the boys – Tom and Uther, or even William to use _his_ magic – but you are young ladies! You must behave better. Royalty do not fight. Proper people do _not_ fight."

Just then the door slammed open and King Arthur stumbled into the room. He had a wild look in his eyes, and his shirt was little more than rags. He gasped out, "Where is that manservant? That no-good, trouble making sorcerer! I'll kill him! Kill him! Where is he?"

Gwen closed her eyes, looking long-suffering.

Lexi leapt to her feet. "You will not!"

Arthur didn't look twice at her. He wasn't searching for Alexandra. He wanted_ Merlin_, the little…

Lexi glared at her king fearlessly. "You will not kill him!"

"Want to bet?" asked Arthur.

"Arthur," warned the Queen.

Arthur shook his head. "I know, I know, no death threats around the children, but look at me!" Gwen did. He was a handsome man, approaching middle-age, who wore both smile lines and scowl lines proudly on his weather-beaten, scarred face. Both sets of lines had come at least in part from the very man he wanted to slaughter about now.

Lexi turned to Queen Gwen for support. "He won't kill anyone, right? If he does, I'm allowed to use my magic on him, right?"

"No, he won't kill Merlin," said Gwen, choosing to ignore the second question. She looked back at Arthur. "What did he do?"

Arthur looked half-mad. "Explosions! People! And… that rabbit!"

"Tom and Uther's rabbit?" asked Gwen, naming Chloe's two brothers.

"Yes. And Hunith."

Lexi looked confused. "My sister or my grandmother?"

"Both."

"Grandmother's not in town."

"No, but she will be… I bet if I find her, I find Merlin… excellent idea! Lousy excuse for a Court Magician anyway!"

And Arthur disappeared with the same suddenness with which he arrived.

Lexi and Chloe looked back at Guinevere. "Most nobles," continued Gwen as though nothing had happened, "should not fight. Your fathers are an unfortunate exception."

This appeared to make sense to Chloe, but Alexandra just raised a doubtful eyebrow.

Gwen's closet door burst open, and out tumbled the Court Magician.

"Daddy!" cried Alexandra happily, running forward in a flurry of brown hair to embrace her father.

Merlin smiled indulgently down at her. "Hello, Lexi, dear. Thanks for letting me use a transportation spell to get to your closet, Gwen."

"I didn't," pointed out Gwen, amused. "What started this?"

"It was really all Arthur's fault. Hunith was helping me with this new spell – you know she keeps hoping she'll get magic one day – and I was testing it on the boys' rabbit…"

"Did Uther and Tom say that was okay?"

"When they learned I'd be doing magic on it, they volunteered him. Do you honestly think I would steal the boys' rabbit? But then Arthur comes in, all upset because Lance is back in town, and messes everything up…"

Gwen got to her feet in a hurry. "Sir Lancelot is back in town?"

"It's not so unusual, Gwen… Yes, Lexi, I love you too, but let go now."

Lexi did not want to let go of her dad. "But, King Arthur said he'd kill you!"

"Don't be ridiculous, sweet, I could take the king in a heartbeat."

Chloe looked insulted, but Lexi was relieved. She reluctantly let go.

Gwen wasn't listening. Lance was back in town? Oh, dear. She did hate these visits. Not because she disliked Lance, but things were so uncomfortable around him.

There had been a rumor several years ago that Queen Guinevere was having an affair with Sir Lancelot. Everyone spoke of it, everyone knew… even Arthur. Arthur insisted staunchly that these were all lies, that his wife was faithful. But the seed of doubt was planted, and it slowly grew. At last Arthur asked Merlin, his trusted friend, to do a little spying.

Merlin dutifully followed around both Gwen and Lancelot, but the tidbits he gleaned were not enough to make any conclusions on. At last he confronted them. Gwen slapped him. She had never heard these rumors, and they infuriated her. Merlin had never seen her quite so mad. Lance laughed outright.

"Are you kidding?" he gasped. "Do you think I'm dumb enough to double-cross Arthur with you watching his back?"

But the rumors didn't die, though Arthur was again sure of his wife's trustworthiness.

At last Lance left town, hoping to dispel the rumors. It didn't work. The way it was told around Camelot, Arthur had him thrown out in a fit of jealous rage. Lance came back for visits, but Gwen never could look him straight in the eye again. And Arthur never could stop suspecting his one-time friend of trying to capture his wife's attention. (Which, though neither Merlin nor Lancelot would admit it even under torture, had been Lancelot's secret dream until a while after Gwen married Arthur. So the rumors were, in a way, true, but in another way completely false.)

Stupid busybodies ruined everything, especially friendships. Things might start getting better soon, though, she suspected. On his last trip home to Camelot, Lance had hinted that he might return next with a certain blonde beauty. Arthur certainly hoped so. It would be that much easier to let Lancelot sit next to Gwen again.

"Daddy!" chirped Lexi. "Did you hear what King Arthur said? Grandmother is coming for a visit!"

Merlin went a little pale. "Oh, dear. I have to go find her… and I bet Arthur will be waiting right with her… I'm doomed. Lexi, where's your older siblings?"

"I haven't seen Hunith."

"No, I guess she'd still be picking up the explosion."

"But Will's down in the kitchens, trying to sneak food from the cooks… with his magic."

"He'll never manage it. Those cooks are sharp. I'll go find him, though, and maybe he can help cause a diversion…"

Muttering, Merlin strolled out the door.

Chloe was looking up at her mother with interest. "Lexi? I think she's asleep while she's awake."

"You mean, daydreaming? Well, she is! Say, Chloe, wanna go see that explosion? We'll find Uther and Tom and bring them along too."

Chloe nodded. She didn't have the same fascination with explosions as the little witch, but she would do anything to get away from her mother when she stopped daydreaming.

The two little girls made their way over to the door, but had to pause in their escape in order to let Arthur and Merlin pass. The two girls' fathers were running down the hall, screaming like madmen, Arthur's shirt still in rags and Merlin missing his neckerchief. It was waving in the air above Arthur's head, like a battle flag.

It was indeed an impressive sight to the dwellers of the castle, getting to watch their king chase around the Court Magician. But then, by now, they were used to it. It had first occurred on the day Arthur discovered that Merlin was a warlock, and it now happened about once a month, when Merlin pushed Arthur past his limit.

Chloe and Alexandra let them pass before quietly creeping off to watch Hunith, the oldest child of the Court Magician, pick up after the alleged explosion.

It was a normal day in Camelot.

_A/N: To clarify:_

_Merlin and his wife have (age order): Hunith, William, and Alexandra. _

_Arthur and Gwen have (age order): Uther and Tom (twins) and Chloe. _

_I hope you enjoyed it, please review and tell me any thing you have to say: advice, suggestions, compliments…_


End file.
